The days you just want....
The days you just want to stand on the top of a mountain and scream and shout! Yeah, for those who haven't guessed it yet, this is a bad day... This is the day when the kids are driving you crazy... This is the day when nothing is good enough... This is the day when everything goes wrong... This is the day when every single thing has to be a fight... It's called the bad days of being an au pair... Maybe I shouldn't complain... I have an awesome hostfamily even if I lost my patient with the kids around lunch today...
And what can you do about it? ... That's the thing... you're stuck... you just have to keep on going... even if it feels like your head is gonna explode... not only from the noise they are making, but from the sound of your own voice saying no, excuse me, indoorvoice please, take that off, do this, do that, listen to me! ... Right now I'm done... I feel like a wreck... It's not even that I have a headache... I just feel empty, like I turned myself off... like I didn't have enough energy and I went on save battery or something...
... but tomorrow is a new day... and tomorrow Linda's coming! And after friday I'm off! And it's new years! And now I finding myself sitting here trying to give myself a speech .. Lets see if it works... Gonna talk to a person that have a way of cheering me up now so lets hope that works better, because this feels a little bit pathetic...
Maybe I shouldn't post it, maybe I should put on a smily face and show that everything is perfect... but sometimes it's not and why not tell that as well. So here it is, one of my worst days in the states and I didn't even tell what's wrong... Cause it's not really anything specific that is wrong more than just a crappy day. So all relatives that reads this, I'm not going home yet... I signed up for one year and one year it's gonna be...
Love you all!
L
The day before
So it's the day before christmas, still gonna celebrate the 24th at Robyns house with some friends, decided that long ago so that's what I'm gonna do and we are gonna have fun! Got invited with my hostfamily but can only be in one place so had to pass, even if I would like to celebrate with them all.
So Today I'm gonna buy a present to the grab bag, ingredients to my swedish cookies and candy, meatballs and some presents to my hostfamily, I know they don't celebrate christmas, but I don't wanna be the only one opening my presents, it's not the right feeling over that! And feel like they have been so nice to me during my stay, really feel like a part of this family. And I didn't give Sharin or Dave something for Hanukkha so thought this is gonna be a way to show them that I appreciate them, cause I do. Feel I've been so lucky getting this family even if the kids sometimes goes on my nerves or something else, it's normal stuff. I mean I'm living with them would be weird if I didn't felt like that from time to time. I don't believe in the perfect family, but I believe in the right one, and that's how I feel about my family in America.
And for those who don't have facebook... it looks like I'm going skiing with them the 25th! So excited! Even if it's just for the day I can't help to feel like it's gonna be like going home. I know I'm just gonna close my eyes and pretend I'm skiiing in sweden, or maybe not going down hill thou... Feels like I can't stop smiling! And yesterday I got a green packet from the best family! So thanks! Still haven't opened it, but my fingers are itching!
Love you all! So take care! And be careful with the christmas food, so jealous of the ham I'm missing, and not being with you all of you, but I'm carrying you all with me in my heart. Saknar er!
(Och mamma jag ringer idag nar jag gor julgodis for att prata lite, sa va hemma, haha)
Merry Christmas!
Whop it!
So this sunday I decided to go with Robyn to the city for some feeling better stuff. Because she had just like me felt a little homesick the past week so she dragged me with her to a beginner hip hop class.. When we got there I asked the girl next to if it was the beginners class. I just wanted to make sure, because the rest of the class and the first instructions "the warm up" was kind of hard and intense! The teacher Ms Viee (not sure abt the spelling) was really cool and she saw me do at least one thing right that she told me abt, to bad I got so happy I forgot everything again thou... She taught us whop it! Which is a crazy ass dance move, haha...But still 1 and a half hour later of fun and humiliation the class came to an end. And that's when I realized that it apparently wasn't just the class that watch me doing all the misstakes they also showed the classes on a tv-screens in the waiting room...thanks for that!) But as Ms Viee said (looking at me) fake it till you make it! Not sure If I even was dancing the same dance in the end ... but it was fun anyway, haha.
Then It was time for us to take the subway to the South African restaurant Madiba in Brooklyn. And after some google maps and asking some people we finally found it in the rain. I ate fish, calamari and some slap chip, really deliciuos and it was nice to get a break from my own cooking and fast food, miss the food from sweden thou! Miss a lot of things with Sweden at the moment, but in the same time this is the place where I should be right now, in this period of my life. Hope everybody feels that, like they make their right decision, because in the end of the day you're the one living your life, not your mom or your boyfriend or your friends... Guess I just wanted to say that for all of those who actually read this blogg now and then and that are thinking about what to do next in life, go with your guts and fight to make your dreams come true!
Take care!
L
Who stole the cookies out of the cookie jar...
So had this amazing weekend, life is good. I didn't go with my host family to celebrate thanksgiving, but they brought back some leftovers, yummi! They told us that we can eat it and you really have to try these cookies, they are sooo good! Said and done... We ate some cookies and I gave Gernot some as well for his bustrip back to DC. Then I toke them with me to the movies...after all sharin (my hostmum) doesn't like to have sweets at home cause she know she will eat it. So I was eating these really delicious cookies had 1 and a half left when I felt oh time to stop eating now I think... As we are leaving the movies I get a text from my host mum asking abt the cookies.
S:Where is the cookies?
Me: I ate them, or should I blame moby (the dog), haha
S:You ate all of them? there were like 30 in that bag? Aren't you sick?
Me: I can bake some new ones, if you want?
S: No you can't, it's a secret family recipe and we get them once a year at thanksgiving... I had three and dave none...
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that..
Turning to the girls, OMG I ate the them all!
Dave (my host dad) enters the conversation
D: I can't believe you ate them all... I'm not talking to you. You are soo dead, no better up your grounded!!!
Stacy is the one reading the text cause I'm driving, she looks at me and I look at her, eyes are wide open and shit is the word coming out over our lips... Thinking abt what to respond...
Me: I have 1 and a half left on my way home with them...
D: Okay, I'm talking to you but my stomach isn't. My stomach is mad!
Entering the front door...
D: Who is it? (joking but still serious)
L: It's the cookie thief, but I have one and a half left. Dingeling the bag in the air.
D: Give it to me...
Then I started my excuse, like you normally don't want sweets in the house... And we where joking about it, so now I'm the cookie thief and all the relatives know about it, that's great considering I'm going there on sunday to celebrate Hanukha with them. Already heard it from their grandpa, but the good part is that their cousin promised to make some new! I'm saved, and guess who is not stepping anywhere near them?!
Over and out!
